


Soft Breasts, Beating Heart

by MeanButKind



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: AU, BK do BDSM, But just a little, Dominant!Kai, F/M, Kai is one sick puppy, Kai may be bad but hes perfectly good at it, Kinky, Masochist!Bonnie, Maybe a little OOC, but it doesn't really matter since it doesn't focus on them, but that's okay, fighting and fcking are really just one in the same aren't they?, thin line between pain and pleasure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:13:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeanButKind/pseuds/MeanButKind
Summary: Kai just wants to help Bonnie heal, but that doesn't mean he can't hurt her along the way. BonKai get into a bit of S&M. If violence bothers you then skip this one. This came to me as I was listening to the Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge song, it feels very BK, doesn't it?
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Malachai "Kai" Parker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Love is great, love is fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song: Tear You Apart (She Wants Revenge)
> 
> I know it would have been an easy setup, but I went ahead and took out the tragic childhood because it felt too cheap. Kai isn't a sadist because he's got Daddy issues- that's low hanging fruit. Anyway, I want to be SUPER clear, this is about sadism and masochism, so if that's not something you wanna read about then leave this fic be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to be uploading all my BK fics that have been posted on FF here, so these aren't new fics and you may have even seen one before. I honestly never used A03 until like...last year, but I really prefer it! Most of this writing is older, like from a few years back when I hadn't written fics before (not that I've written a lot). Anyway... I'll definitely be combing through to correct/ update so I hope to inject some newness into these. There are like 5 fics I'll be adding all in all including this one. 
> 
> To be honest I really really love this fic and I am excited to share it again even if I am a bit nervous too.
> 
> Without further ado...

* * *

**_I want to hold you close_ **

**_Skin pressed against me tight_ **

**_Lie still, and close your eyes girl_ **

**_So lovely, it feels so right_ **

**_\----------------------------_ **

Kai was a sadist, but he'd known that about himself for a while now.

He always liked pain, liked causing it, liked seeing how other people wore it. Fortunately, there was no shortage of consenting masochists to focus his desires on. The internet being what it was finding a willing victim was nothing more than a click away.

He can admit he had done some less than noble things, but that was before; when he was younger, less controlled.

One such time, in middle school, he shoved Sarah Geller off the top of the slide just to watch her fall. She was always been shoving Kai around; he was still small for his age and barely came up to her shoulders. The girl clearly found it amusing and always mocked him. She sang the lolly-pop guild song from The Wizard of Oz and followed him around humming it incessantly. He tried his best to ignore it, but when she got the rest of the class to chant 'Oompa Loompa' he had enough. She was standing at the top of the slide leading the chorus of other children- one minute she was at the top of the jungle gym and the next she wasn't. He barely remembers actually pushing her, but who else could have done it? He felt bad, but when she got up, knees scraped and elbows bloody he was transfixed. Part of Kai was proud of standing up for himself, even if it meant pushing a girl. Unfortunately, none of the children who participated in mocking him saw fit to defend him or his actions to their teachers and he was immediately sent to the principal's office. Later that evening the Gellar mother called his, he could hear her shrill tone through the receiver as he watched from the other side of the kitchen. "Tell your _freak_ of a son to stay away from my child."

 **Freak-** He did not much like the weight of it.

It felt like a blanket he couldn't crawl from underneath- smothering and oppressive. In addition to overhearing the insult, he was thoroughly punished; on top of having to write the girl a letter in apology, he was forced to attend some weekend outpatient juvenile anger-management class. He thought about explaining to his family that the reason he pushed Sarah was not out of anger, but then he realized he'd have to somehow explain he did just to see her fall and he instantly thought better of it. Looking back, it was fitting for his actions, but at the time it felt wholly unfair.

Deeper than the Gellar incident, though, was a memory he'd long buried.

*

*

*

When he was younger, around 5 or 6. Jo and he were playing with dolls in the attic when she took his from his hands and began spinning around the room with it.

"Give it back, Josie!" he whined, but she only poked her tongue out at him and kept playing. He lunged for her and grabbed hold of her wrist intent on taking back his doll. Before either of them knew what happened the skin Kai was holding onto burned red and his sister was screaming. Kai was still, he had not meant to hurt his sister but something about her scream made him curious; he focused on the sound. Moments passed and he registered that she was still yelling, only then did he pull his hands away- her sobs grounding him back the reality that he was hurting someone he loved. In reality a matter of seconds passed, but it felt excruciatingly longer for the both of them.

"Sorry, Josie! I- I don't know what happened! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't tell-" It was too late. His mother heard the screaming from downstairs and came rushing in, looking between the two and demanded an explanation. He told her he just wanted his toy back and Josette wasn't playing fair, he didn’t mean to hurt her, honest! He just wanted to take the toy but then his hands glowed red.

"Show me" was all she said. He tentatively took his mother's hand she gasped when he made contact.

Siphon.

That's when he found out what he was.

He felt intense shame when it happened- shame that he hurt his sister, shame that hurting seemed to come naturally to him, and shame that pain piqued his curiosity. He was an abomination.

After that, he kept his hands to himself. Once his parents figured out what he was it was easy, they reminded him to be careful who he touched and chastised him when he got too close. His family made sure he kept a wide berth between himself and his siblings at all times. He understood, somewhat, but it was hard not touching anyone. He was a kid, after all, he wanted to play hand games with his siblings, wanted to wrestle and rough house, wanted to hug and be comforted, but he was always reminded to keep his distance. He learned to conceal it then.

Few accidents happened throughout the rest of his childhood, he learned how to handle his ability and became sufficiently distracted. Siphons weren't uncommon, but they weren't favored either. He received support, but he often felt like a black sheep in his family. In his coven especially. It was not a secret that most of the Gemini looked down on siphons, they called them _abominations_ and contempt ran deep. He was fortunate to get what little support he did. Between managing his siphoning ability, being the joint-eldest of 7 brothers and sisters, and navigating the mess that was his coven he barely had time to live a normal life let alone unearth buried thoughts about why pain called to him. 

It was much later, in his sophomore year of college, that he revisited his capacity for hurt.

He was in the middle of fooling around with a girl from his Theory of Identity class. They had been messing around for a couple of months and the sex was great, but something felt different tonight. Normally she would lead, but tonight she deferred to him. Not only that, but she kept doing little things she _knew_ pissed him off. He thought she wanted him to take control, but when he reached for her she pushed his hands away, when he kissed her she bit his lips, and when he touched her softly she groaned in annoyance.

After 30 mins of neither of them being satisfied, she clued him in, "I know this is gonna sound totally weird and I don't want you to judge me, but ...I want you to hurt me, Kai."

Simple, just one sentence.

She wasn't asking for some elaborate fantasy or something so unreasonable, nothing impossible, she just wanted to be hurt. He was jarred none the less. Here this girl he had been fooling around with for the better part of the semester was making a simple ask of him, but he was thrown by it. In his experience girls like gentleness and being touched tenderly. He didn't mind those things, he even liked that most times, but something deep within him always desired something more, something darker.

It was something he fantasized about- but he'd always imagined it would remain there, in his head. After the incident with the Gellar girl, Jo reamed him out just as thoroughly as their mother. "You're not supposed to hit girls, Kai!" She screamed it at him then launched into an hour-long monologue about and how fucked up he was. It stuck. Even now it rang in his head like a mantra. His forgotten fantasy was manifesting itself on its own in front of him and he felt too stuck to delve into it. Go figure.

Kai may have been apprehensive, but he didn't want to miss the opportunity that had fallen directly into his lap, literally. He decided to indulge them both that night. 

They started off tentatively, despite his lifelong unspoken interest, this was his first time actually charting this territory. There was still fear in his bones, fear he would do real damage or come on too strong. The last thing he needed was to hurt her in a way she did not want to be or come across as too aggressive. This was a first for him and he wanted to be precautious as much as he wanted to savor it. So, they began with light slapping and from there they progressed.

By the end of the night, they were both heaving and satisfied. Kai knew something had changed in him, deep in his gut he felt it. As he laid in the afterglow and processed the night, he felt his mind blown. It wasn't just that the sex was phenomenal, Kai was amazed because it was so much sweeter than all those years ago. With Jo, it was just an immature curiosity and with Sarah, his interest was clouded with remorse.

Before, his joy was tinged with guilt, but now, now it was different. Having someone who wanted to be hurt, to be marked, and maimed thrilled him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alas, no Bonnie in this chapter, but she will make her appearance soon! Don't you fret. This was mainly about establishing some back story and giving Kai's POV and an introduction into all this- rest assured this is a BonKai story.
> 
> Until next time...


	2. What You Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And I'mma love you girl, the way you need.  
> Ain't no one gone stop us, ain't no one gon stop us  
> and I'mma give you girl, what you feel  
> I'm the drug in your veins, just fight through the pain" - The Weeknd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hereeeeeeee's Bonnie!
> 
> See I told y'all our girl had a starring role. This chapter builds more of the context of Bonnie and Kai's relationship to one (or lack thereof).

The Bennett's were legendary, more renowned than even The Gemini. His entire life he grew up hearing about the powerful matriarchal coven. Despite meeting Sheila at gatherings, he only knew loosely of her granddaughter. Apparently, they wanted to keep her out of magic because she had a mundane father; it didn't last though. From what Kai heard Bonnie had been the force holding it down in Mystic Falls since she was in high school. Bonnie's delayed introduction to magic meant they did not meet until they were older and established in their own covens. Kai always prided himself for being observant, even though he and the Bennett prodigy were barely more than acquaintances he kept tabs on her. Despite the lack of familiarity in their youth he had known her for a while now, knew all about her so-called 'friends'. 

How they pressured her into fighting their battles over and over again. It wasn't that he didn't care it just...wasn't his problem. When he initially moved to the area to represent The Gemini on the east coast, he reached out to her. Their covens were hardly strangers, and while he never known her much growing up, he knew her grandmother and wanted to offer his condolences, however long after the fact. He also wanted to make the acquaintance of another witch- of course, it didn't hurt that she was one of the most powerful witches in existence. They got together a handful of times, but it never went anywhere. She was always running after her friends and getting wrapped up in whatever they were wrapped up in.

She had come to him several times asking for help, disappointed when he turned her and her gang of vamps down. After the fourth or fifth time, she stopped asking. He figured she wrote him off, _‘oh well,’_ no love lost there. It did not stop him from watching her, though. She was cute, well gorgeous, and she was so strong, despite her foolish desire to throw herself onto the sacrificial altar over and over.

Kai admired her tenacity- knock her down and she came up swinging, always. He admired the conviction.

\-------------------------------------------------

**_An escape is just a nod and a casual wave_ **

**_Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days_ **

**_It's only just a crush, it'll go away_ **

**_It's just like all the others it'll go away_ **

**_\--------------------------------------------_ **

He was walking to his mailbox when he noticed.

Her brown hair barely visible behind the large box she was holding. He couldn't see her face, or any distinguishing characteristics for that matter, but he'd recognize her aura anywhere. He watched her carry the box, bigger than her torso, into the house followed by her blonde friend. Before his mind could put it together his eyes looked to the curb in front of the door they disappeared into.

Today must be his lucky day, there was a moving van across the street.

\-----------------------------------------------

**_Or maybe this is danger and he just don't know_ **

**_You pray it all away, but it continues to grow_ **

**____________________________________________________ **

Clearly, she’d grown, good for her. She moved on, or at least moved out.

Here she was in the apartment across from his; maybe he would do the neighborly thing and bake her a pie. He spent more time than he cared to admit posted on his living room couch watching her through the blinds. Her blonde friend, (Carolyn?) helped her with most of the heavy lifting. He could see Bonnie complain every time the other girl tried to take something out of her hands, before ultimately agreeing to let the vampire take care of it. Over the course of the day, other friends came and went.

The wolf his sister was dating showed up with the brooding Salvatore brother, Steven about three hours in and they helped move the rest of the furniture off the truck. Then some brown-haired himbo came, though it seemed like he wanted to talk to Bonnie more than he wanted to help her. She didn't seem to want to listen to whatever it was he had to say if the way she turned and walked away any time he tried to speak to her was anything to go by. After his third attempt to discuss, whatever he so desperately wanted to discuss, with Bonnie's back the blonde vamp stepped in. Whatever Carol Lynn said to him must have worked, he looked dejected, but he left. Other friends popped in and out for the rest of the day.

Eventually, they all left, except for Caroline, who he assumed wanted to help her decorate. It wasn't until after one in the morning the two emerged from the condo. Bonnie walked her friend to her car, they embraced, and Bonnie watched the car disappear down the street. After that, she disappeared into the darkness of her new place.

He could have gone over to help, and he probably should have, but he enjoyed watching her. To be honest he had been more than a little preoccupied thinking about what it meant that she was his new neighbor. She knew he lived here; it was only a matter of time before one of them crossed the street to the other. As sat watching her lift furniture and carry boxes he one overwhelming thought dominated and clouded his focus. More than he wanted to be cordial, more than he wanted to be neighborly, _fuck_ , he wanted to make her suffer.

 _'No_ ,' he shook the thought away.

He did not need to think about beating up the witch next door, there was plenty on his plate already. A sadistic crush wasn't going to do him any favors. Plus, she wasn't the type to suffer for her own gratification; she only endured for the benefit of others; how sad. All her pain was wasted on her useless friends.

**_\--------------------------------------------------------------_**

**_Got a big plan, this mindset maybe it’s right_ **  
**_At the right place and right time, maybe tonight_ **

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

He never expected to see her outside his door, especially so late at night.

When the doorbell rang, he assumed it was Jo porting to him to discuss coven business. No one ever came to see him this late, they knew better. He groggily stumbled to the door after the third straight minute of knocking.

Opening it harshly he looked down.

"Oh, hey" she seemed startled "you're awake."

"Yes, well, you made sure of that," he said sharply.

She looked sheepish as her gaze turned downward "Oh, yeah. I guess I did- uh, sorry about that…" a blush colored her brown cheeks. Her nervousness disarms him and cuts through his upset.

"So, what brings the little Bennet witch to my door?" He glanced towards his wristwatch "and at the witching hour no less?"

She paused seemingly lost in thought. Watching her bite her lips as she mulled over her thoughts was cute, but they could do that some other time. Preferably when it was not the middle of the night. The witching hour was not arbitrarily named; the veil was thinnest at this time. Things crossed between their world and the next. Sure, they were witches, but only a foolish supernatural would be caught unawares right now.

He decided the conversation was over and positioned himself to close the door. "Well, Miss Bennet, I wish I could say it's been a pleasure, but you're cutting into my beauty sleep. If there's not anything I can help you with…"

She edged her foot into the doorway "No wait!" She let out a breath neither of them knew she'd been holding before sternly looking into his eyes, "I- I see the way you look at me when you think I'm not paying attention. I know you've been watching me and uh- I think I know what you've been thinking. What you've been wanting."

Now he was interested, so the little witch was gifted with the power of intuition; he should have figured.

"Oh, yea?"

"Yea." She replied with a smile, having found her confidence.

"Well?" He leaned down over her, there was an edge to his voice he didn't care to hide. Clearly, if she was bold enough to come to his house this late, talking the way she was, she was after something.

She looked up at him, something hopeful and all together mischievous dancing behind her eyes "I've got a proposition for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is written, but I feel like I need to spend some more time with it. For some reason, I am having some weird feelings about it as I revisit this fic and I want to figure out where those feelings are coming from. Not sure if I want to take it in another direction or what's up- anyway it should be up soon, I wish I could give a more thorough answer about what 'soon' means here- but idk. I mainly wanted to get these chapters up so this didn't become another project sitting in my drafts. Anyway, lemme know what you think, would love to hear y'alls thoughts or theories!


	3. Tear You Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And this is where the magic happens..."

* * *

**_But their lip_ ** **_s met, and reservations started to pass_ **

**_But their lips met, and reservations started to pass_ **

**_Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last_ **

**_\----------------------------------------------------------------_ **

It started out with a lie.

Not necessarily a big lie, she may have even told herself she believed it, but it was a lie all the same.

After appearing on his doorstep, she made a request. She told him she 'wanted to become stronger'; if he could help her build her pain tolerance, she would be better able to fight off all the baddies that made their way through town.

'Heh, _right_ ' he scoffed, better serve her friends was more like it, somehow the greatest witch this side of the century had a martyr complex and a big one at that. He would help her alright, but not so she could traipse off and die again for her pals. No, he would do it for his own reasons, if she could lie about her desires so could he.

Now, looking at Bonnie the feeling from all those weeks ago rushed back. Over a month passed since the conversation on his doorstep and, as per her request, they were training together.

Currently, she was bent over catching her breath after their warm-up. He watched her as she reached for the water bottle next to her, thinking to himself all the while. She was certainly smaller than him, but she was not mousy.

Thank God.

It was no fun pushing around some meek wallflower, he wanted the person below him to have some wherewithal. Tossing around a rag doll was no thrill, that was the kind of thing sickos and abusers got off on, Kai was neither. For it to be enjoyable there needed to be some challenge; he had to feel like he could lose. He knew about some of the supes she had gone up against and knew she was formidable. Beyond the witch's track record of taking down notorious bad guys, she always held this look in her eye, this look that said, ' _Try me_ , I _dare_ you.'

Yea, Bonnie certainly looked like she knew how to cause grief. He got the impression she never let her size count her out of a fight; it's what drew him to her. Well, that and how beautiful he imagined she would look in his bruises.

The girl was no shrinking violet, the way she jutted her chin out made him want to grab it all the more. Even now- red in the face and huffing as she drank, she looked like a force to be reckoned with. Even just watching her this way Kai is in awe.

**_\------------------------------------------------_ **

**_Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind._ **

**_\------------------------------------------------_ **

* * *

When he saw her, he wanted to hurt her, to tear into her, make her whimper and beg. He wanted to press his thumbs into the hollow of her throat, putting pressure on her pulse points until she gasped for air. He'd shove his tongue into her mouth then.

The best part of all is that she would be begging for it, egging him on and weeping with joy. When he was done brutalizing her, she would curl up into his arms and thank him, peppering tender kisses along his jaw. He would hold her and stroke her back and they would fall asleep that way. That would come soon enough though, ' _all things in due time_ ' he reminded himself. They would get where they were meant to be eventually, for now, he just needed to be patient.

Of course, patience was something easier preached than practiced. He shook his thoughts away and reached his hand out to her eager to begin the day's lesson.

"Ready?"

\----------------------------------------

**_Either way, he wanted her, and this was bad_ **

**_He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy_ **

**_Now a little crush turned into a like_ **

**_And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her..._ **

**_\-----------------------------------------------------_ **

* * *

This was about catharsis; it was about deliverance. He wanted to take her someplace new, somewhere she had never been before.

Kai had been watching the witch next door for a very long time. He saw the pain she never processed, the feelings she buried, the fear, despair, and emptiness that clouded in her eyes whenever she thought he wasn't looking. He wanted to take that and make it real, shake her from this dissociation and force her to work through all the things she ran from. He wanted her honest. She may not admit when her friend's actions hurt her, but she would scream for him when he forced it out of her.

When he looked at her he saw her, really saw her. Perhaps better than anyone else in her life. Better than her friends who only called when they needed something, better than her mother who ran off and left her, better than her father who was never around. The people she held closest to herself only saw her in so far as she could be useful to them. Sure, they knew she was a witch, but that only meant service to them. Everyone knew her for the roles she played. Daughter, friend, anchor, Bennett Witch, but they never saw her as a person, never in her totality. They wanted her at their beck and call and when she refused, they called her selfish, twisted her arm, practically spit in her face. She was only welcome so long as she served. How cruel. Destined to be a scapegoat. Why did her relationships always seem like burdens? She was constantly saddled with responsibility and obligation even to the people who claimed to support her.

Unlike them, he didn't want anything from her. He just wanted to transform. To take her and mold her like clay. Of course, she would have the greatest input in what she became, he was just the sculptor- she was the art. He'd help her reach whatever she wanted to be, he just needed her to tell him. Once she let him in on the secret he would happily deliver.

Just because he was a sadist did not mean he was a monster, of course, he still believed in aftercare. He was fully prepared, and looking forward to, giving Bonnie everything, she needed after biting into her. It wasn't just about the pain. Of course, he also wanted to make her cum; wanted to use the same thumbs that cut off her breath to trace designs against the delicate skin of her clit. He wanted to tap patterns on the nub until he made her whimper in an altogether different way. She would pant into his open mouth and he would swallow down all of her moans.

He'd shove his tongue into her mouth then too.

He always fantasized about making her scream, the reasons for her vocalizations varied but he would make her writhe all the same.

* * *

Six months went by before something finally changed.

Typically, she would come in, they would eat together or talk for a while, then discuss what she wanted to work on, where she needed the most help, and what she wanted to avoid. After going through everything in detail, she would go off to change into lighter clothes so they could begin. Today she forwent that, when he came back from the bathroom, he found her standing near his bedroom in only her underthings.

"Bonnie?"

Her head turned slightly to look over her shoulder at him, "Don't pretend this isn't what you were always after, Malachai," the witch said cutting her eyes directly to his.

He felt his breathing deepen. Before he consciously knew it, he was drawing closer to her and was closing the distance still. Something about the way she said his name, his **full** name, not just _Kai_ or _Mal_ or any other silly little nickname. _Malachai,_ like he was something from beyond sent into her life to deliver her; and he was.

When she said his name like that, when she rolled her tongue around the full weight of it, it was as if she really saw him the way he saw her.

So, she decided to direct her complex at him now, oh sweet and naive Bonnie; he always wanted her to suffer for him, but not for the reasons she was used to. Somewhere along the way, he had become someone in her life worth serving, worth suffering for.

He would show her.

* * *

For all his talk he wasn't pious, he did not think himself a true angel. He knew he wasn't sanctified, but he wanted the glory anyway. He wanted her to look up at him through sweat and tears and blood in awe. He would deliver the swinging blow and she would kiss his feet for it.

The desire to mar her brown flesh struck him stronger than him than ever; he wanted it red and ruddy. She was bent over herself, forehead against the floor.

He stooped down next to her and gathered her hair tenderly, fingers deftly moving through her curls to the base of her skull. He gently massaged her scalp with the pads of his fingers before roughly yanking her up. "You look so pretty when you cry." He meant it sincerely, how sad to think she had ever wasted these on the likes of her pathetic friends. 

She panted before opening her eyes slowly, "I want you to hurt me" she said as she gave him a sidelong glance.

"Oh, I will," he smirked "don't you worry your pretty little head about that but that's not exactly how you ask, now is it, Bonnie?"

"Please."

"Please _what_?"

"Please, hurt me."

"Are you _asking_ me for what you want or are you _telling_ me? I don't give in to demands..."

When she responded her pleas sounded charged and desperate, "Kai, would you **please** , please hurt me? **_Please_**."

She was so hungry for it. Fuck, he loved her begging. "Oh! Well, there's no need to whimper Bonnie, if you want to be hurt then I am happy to help! You know all you have to do is ask!"

He kissed her roughly, making sure to bite her lower lip.

* * *

\-------------------------------------------------------

 ** _I want to hold you close_**  
**_Skin pressed against me tight_ **  
**_Lie still, and close your eyes girl_ **  
**_So lovely, it feels so right_ **

_————————————————————_

This thing they were doing, this game they were playing at was lasting longer than either of them imagined.

Bonnie told herself she just needed quick training, a couple of lessons to hone her skills then she would be done. She told herself she was drawn to the warlock because she knew he could help her, it wasn’t the way his eyes always seemed to track her movements, it wasn’t how she could feel him watching her from across the street, through the walls and plaster, it definitely wasn’t his bravado or the way he answered to no one but himself. 

Kai figured he could get a couple of fun sessions out of it before he got tired or she fucked off back to her loser crew; he didn’t bother hoping for more. He worked hard to ignore the way he lit up inside when she asked for him to push her further, the way she was proud of herself when she reached a new level of endurance, the way he felt totally satisfied even when they didn’t practice and just talked about life together. 

That was before he understood what this was, before either of them did. They thought the masks they wore would hold up, but the more time they spent together the more they knew this wasn’t something they could continue to treat so flippantly. Somewhere along the line, it became clear to both of them that they were building something, though neither of them was sure what that was.

They did away with the pretense months ago and he was still riveted by it. In the beginning, he was worried it would get old, that the novelty would wear off. His problem was always that he got bored too quickly. Bonnie never bored him though, and he never bored her. He knew because after each visit to him she walked away smiling bigger and bigger and she made requests to stop by more and more frequently. In his wildest fantasies, he never knew it could be like this.

Right now, Bonnie was freshly undressed and squirming in his grasp.

Kai grabbed a fist full of her hair and pressed her into the wall behind him whispering violently in her ear as he did so. He could see the goosebumps raised along her flesh and he could smell how much she wanted this; she was loving every moment of it. If it were at all possible, he pressed himself further against her until his teeth scraped the shell of her ear.

"I wanna fucking tear you apart. _I'm going to._ "

Her jaw opened to let out a moan and he spit into her mouth.

"Swallow."

She obliged without hesitation.

"Good girl" he was beaming at her as he trailed his knuckles down her back, slick with sweat.

"I'm going to siphon you now." He liked to give warning, he loved to see her tense up before he got to her. He could see her clench her teeth in an effort to arm herself against the pain she knew was coming.

"Relax, relax," he cooed stroking her shoulders and chuckling lightly.

He ran his fingers up and down her arms- being gentle before vicious made the sting sweeter. She knew it was coming, but she still could not anticipate exactly and that meant she couldn't brace herself. He saw her release her shoulders slightly as he stroked her from behind, that was the moment he'd been waiting for. When she did not expect it, he took hold of both her arms and drew her magic out sharply.

"Ahhh!" She cried out.

"That's right, I know it hurts, I know. Push through it, Bonnie, I know you can."

He held her for several moments watching her skin glow brighter and brighter red beneath his fingers. When he pulled his hands away, she was panting hard with her head hung low. The red glow gave way to the slick brown of her skin, the sheen of her sweat glistening under the light.

She was mumbling something now and he strained closer to hear her.

"Speak up, Bon-Bon, I didn't quite catch that."

She leaned her head back "Th- thank you," she said still out of breath, "thank you."

He walked around her to crouch down and stare levelly in her eyes making sure she could see how genuine he was "You're so welcome."

* * *

It was an especially painful night and she had been taking everything he gave, but for some reason, she was particularly silent. It put him on edge, she was almost never like this. The few times it happened before she let him know beforehand that she was not feeling vocal. He knew not to expect much noise out of her then. Today was different, she came in silently, save for a few words in greeting then shed her clothes and laid on the bed looking up at him.

Their scene was just passing the 60-minute mark and still, her silence surrounded them, in the last hour, the only vocalizations came from him.

He started by tying her hands behind her back- arms tucked and each hand holding the opposite elbow. They began gently, which was common for them. Bonnie seemed to really enjoy beginning slowly then building in intensity and Kai loved it because it usually meant longer scenes. Playing this way allowed them to explore their capacities for causing and receiving pain, respectively. He loved watching Bonnie grow as a masochist and was as fascinated by it

Tonight, began with a Wartenberg wheel, just meant to tease her lightly. He dragged it across her chest, down her arms, up her legs, and across her stomach until he could tell she was ready for more. From there they moved on to impact play, Kai switched between using his hands to deliver stern smacks over her thighs and siphoning her upper arms and back. Then when things got heavier, he alternated between the heavy flogger on her upper body and an intricately carved paddle on her seat. This was hardly his thickest paddle, Bonnie had handled worse, but usually, it at least got her to squeal. As he stood above her and told her to count off each spank, she sounded almost robotic, there was no emotion in her voice. It made him wonder what was going on with her, he didn’t have any clue, but he could bet it had to do with her friends. 

He knew she had been spread thin lately, she mentioned that she almost over-exerted herself with a spell Damon had asked her to do. Ultimately, she was unable to complete the spell, much to the vampires upset. When the plan failed to work out as intended Damon pushed Bonnie to continue, tailing her for several days until she gave him a barrage of aneurysms and left him passed out in her driveway. 

He watched from across the street and snickered to himself as the vamp’s body drop like a sack of potatoes while she stormed into her house. It must have worked her up because just as quickly as she stormed into her own house she was storming over to his. He expected a long scene that night, but they only played for a bit before ending early. She stayed over and told him about the earlier ordeal and everything that was going on- how she almost blacked out during the spell, how Damon gave her shit for it, how that lead to tension between Bonnie and Elena, which then spilled over to her other relationships. He wanted to know more, but he didn’t want to pry and cause her to clam back up, getting her to open up this way was no easy feat and he was surprised she shared what little she had already. He went to sleep that night feeling grateful for Bonnie’s trust, but his joy was short-lived.

Not long after she fried the older Salvatore’s brains in the street, she drew into herself. She came by just as frequently, but she rarely stayed over anymore, instead hurrying out almost as soon as they finished. Kai tried asking her about it, but she kept assuring him she was fine. The girl that had become so vibrant and sure of herself was turning into a shell, he hated it. Kai wondered what needed to give to get his girl back.

* * *

They took a short break in the middle before starting up again with clamps and a string of clothespins. This was a toy they rarely used together but usually when they incorporated it, she screamed for him, tonight she kept quiet. He decided he had enough of her silent treatment. He wanted to try something.

He was focusing on siphoning her now- "Do you like it, Bonnie? Having your magic taken?"

She did not expect to hear him speak and it was clear by the way she jumped upon hearing his voice. She only grunted in response; her muscles pulled together tightly from the pain.

"What's wrong? Why so tense? I mean, I figure since you're so used to giving it up to everyone that you'd enjoy this."

Her eyes were keen suddenly and she stared at him. _'At least that inspired some kind of reaction.'_ He continued on.

"Damon, Klaus, Stefan, _Elena_ ," he said the last name with an especially hard bite. "You just give it up to anyone who asks, don't you?"

Before she could do or say anything he pressed forward.

"Tell me… are you a slut Bonnie? Do you always give your goods up to anyone who chances to pass by? Strangers, mundanes? Vampires, Wolves, Doppelgangers?" His eyebrows pulled together at the center as if he were really thinking. Kai stood in front of her and roughly took hold of her jaw, grasping it tightly, he stared into her eyes and drew close until they were barely inches apart.

"I don't ask, though. I take." His grip turned tighter "You'll never have to worry about me asking you for anything, Bonnie because I'll just take it from you."

He ripped the magic out of her then; her jaw turning crimson and dropping open from the cut of pain. He stopped just as quickly and walked away from her. With his back to her, he tilted his head as if contemplating before turning back around. She was biting her lip hard and clearly trying to keep from yelling at him, cutting a hard glare his way. So, he kept going.

"Just what kind of witch are you? Whoring yourself and your powers out to anyone who even _looks_ at you?"

All his cruelty was not arbitrary, he was hitting her sore spots because he was building to something. Lately, they’d been exploring her soft limits, she told him several weeks ago she wanted to explore her capacity for verbal humiliation, and he was happy to oblige. He was worried maybe he was being too wicked, but he knew she knew their safe word, she was free to end this at any time. Plus, Bonnie was a witch, no man-made rope could actually contain her. He reminded himself that he built in several 'outs'; if she was still here with him it was because she wanted to be.

For that reason, it was time to go for her throat.

"Oh, Bonnie" he feigned genuine sympathy as he looked to her making sure her eyes were on his, "What would Sheila think?"

She jerked at that, an ugly scowl quickly pulling across her face, her nostrils flaring in anger. She pinned her eyes to him like she wanted to wring his neck. He thought for sure she was about to curse him out, yell at him, hex him- anything but the more he studied the rage in her face the more he saw. Her eyes were doing something strange as was her mouth; they were quivering...it was like her jaw was quaking, was she about to...?

Tears sprang forth and she wailed, her body wracked by heavy sobs; her chest heaved up and down and she struggled to catch her breath. He had not thought she'd react like this and he was thrown. He expected some outburst, but not her tears. She must have been holding this in for a long time.

"Bonnie, Bonnie look at me," her eyes were shut tight as tears streamed down her face.

"Bonnie, I need you to look at me, okay?" He took hold of her waist and rubbed gently with his thumbs, his grip turning the faintest bit firmer when she still did not open her eyes.

"What do you need, Bonnie? Use your words."

She seemed to calm down a little as he spoke "I just, I just can't right now, please I just-" she didn't have to finish before he began magically cutting through and untying the knots that held her.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, I've got you," he soothed as he gathered her into his arms. He should have known she was not ready- pain always brought vulnerability; they dredged something up, something she had buried and was not ready to face. It was alright, he would hold her through it, and they would try again. He would be there for her.

After all, she was his.

\-------------------------------

**_I want to hold you close_ **

**_Soft breasts, beating heart_ **

**_As I whisper in your ear_ **

**_I want to fucking tear you apart_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know getting your mouth spit in is a niche interest, but it is a niche interest of mine so... sorry? I like gross sex and sadomasochism, sue me. 
> 
> I wanted to create something where Bonnie and Kai could explore intensity and violence with some light fluffy/ caring/attentive backdrop, which I like about S&M in general tbh.  
> I didn’t want to create a kink fic where it’s just abuse masked as BDSM *cough cough* 50 shades *cough*
> 
> This will be the final chapter for now. I always wanted this story to be a finite little three-parter. If you think there is more here or want me to do something else with it then just let me know! Again, thanks for checking this out! I really appreciate it! Leave a review so I know what you think!


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